This is one of those posts that I just need to write, publish, and get out of my system, so I can move on. I’m actively working on reminding myself of the positives and focusing on the good things, but that’s been hard. Here’s why:
Up six pounds in September. As much as I tell myself my health is about so much more than the numbers, these numbers still bother me. I wish they didn’t. I wish I could say that seeing “250” on my scale immediately pushed me to make changes, but it hasn’t. I’m trying hard to reverse course, but I’m struggling.
The weight gain can be traced to the final ten days of September, after my US Bank Tower race. I fell into a slump after that race, partly due to sheer exhaustion, and partly due to some depression issues, and I’m not fully out of it yet (although I’m trying). I worked out less and let go of my eating, and sure enough, that was reflected during my weigh-in.
Looking backwards, this is my highest weight in 14 months, when I was losing the weight that I gained during my testicular cancer scare. (It was just a scare, I didn’t have cancer.)
So here are the positive messages I’ve been repeating to myself:
- In those 14 months, my weight has remained within a 11-pound range. That’s a huge accomplishment.
- I’ve had rough patches in the past, and I’ve always pulled through. Always.
- A weight of 250 still means I’ve lost and kept off 152 pounds. That’s huge. Looking at the entirety of my weight loss chart confirms that:
I’ve taken another step that will help me refocus my thinking away from the numbers. I knew this weigh-in would result in a big gain, because I had been weighing myself every day leading up to my “official” weigh-in on October 1st. I’ve weighed myself every day after, hoping to see the number decrease (which it hasn’t, and that’s not a surprise, as I hadn’t made any big changes in my activity or eating). It’s been easy to dwell on the numbers, because I’ve been seeing them every day. So, I decided to remove the numbers from the equation. And that meant moving my scale out of my bathroom…
…and into the trunk of my car.
This isn’t the first time I’ve stashed my scale in my trunk. I did it a few years ago for exactly the same reason: I started to obsess over numbers, at the expense of the good things I had going on, and that’s bad. My plan is to keep the scale in my trunk until my next weigh-in.
Time for my Workout Progress Report. I do this every month. Here’s my calendar:
Every workout get a dot. Some dots have circles or triangles around them, and those mean different things. Here are the stats on September:
- I worked out 23 times in 30 days.
- I took one class at Slimmons and two other group classes (one a battle ropes class, the other a small group training session at my gym).
- Seven of those workouts involved weightlifting.
Apart from the low amount of lifting, I’m surprised these numbers are as high as they are, given the slump that consumed the final third of the month. That’s another positive thing I gotta remember. 4) Even when I’m in a slump, I still manage to stay active.
And since I’m adding to my positives list, I should add this, too: 5) I completed lots of cardio miles in September:
I tally up all the miles I do during all forms of cardio, whether it be running, biking, elliptical, or something else, and in September, those miles added up to 76.6 miles. That’s pretty damn good – more miles than I completed in February, April, May, June and August of this year.
So. Where does that me leave me right now? Well, I’m still trying to get out of this slump, and writing this post (particularly the list of positives) has been helpful. I’ve been working out (including 6 of the last 7 days), but nothing too challenging. I’m eating OK a lot of the time, but I’ve been going off the rails and buying junk at the store and binging on it all at once.
I think setting some goals for the week will be helpful, so why not do that right now?
- Goal #1. Repeat the list of positives that I created in this post every day.
- Goal #2. I haven’t lifted weights in nearly three weeks. This week I’m going to incorporate two lifting workouts, 1 upper body and 1 lower body, in addition to my cardio.
- Goal #3. No junk food binges this week. Period.
Also helpful: a big resource in keeping myself healthy literally arrived at my doorstep the other day. And when I say ‘big,’ I mean it’s one of the largest deliveries I’ve ever gotten in my life. It’ll be the focus of an upcoming post, so stay tuned for that. My next couple posts are gonna be recipes – I’ve been sitting on a few that I’ve been meaning to share.
Lastly, I want to remind myself that getting out of this slump may not be easy, but I already have all the tools I need. I’m smart and resourceful (handsome, too!) and I know what it takes to keep myself healthy, and having that knowledge and awareness is key. Ending this slump will require tapping into that foundation, and that’s something I know I can do.
Keep it up, David!