I Gotta Madmartigan Myself Back On The Wagon

April 26, 2011

I wouldn’t say I’ve fallen off the wagon during the past week, but I would say that right now, at this moment, I’m getting dragged behind the wagon, but still holding on.  I’m like Madmartigan, the Daikini warrior in the 1988 film “Willow” (played by Val Kilmer) during the runaway wagon chase scene, except I’m not fighting off Bavmorda’s henchmen at the same time.  Don’t know what I’m talking about?  Check out this clip on YouTube – Madmartigan starts getting dragged by the wagon about 2:39 in.  “Willow” is one of those movies that I grew up watching.  It’s not a great film, but it’s special to me, and it has trolls and spells and little people and a love potion and a two-headed dragon and magic acorns and fairies and swordfighting and and an old lady that gets turned into a goat.  If you haven’t seen it, watch it.  If you haven’t seen it lately, watch it again.  Lucky for all of us, someone was so kind as to put the entire movie on YouTube.

But I digress.  This isn’t supposed to be a post about “Willow”.  It’s supposed to be a post about me.  I kinda wish it really was a post about “Willow” – that post would be a whole lot easier to write.

I’m in a bit of a funk.  I didn’t write about it last week, because I didn’t fully realize it I was in one, but I know now that I am, and I’m pretty sure it can be traced to last week’s weigh-in, where I stayed even.  I really thought that I had had a stellar week going into that weigh-in, and yet, the numbers on the scale didn’t decrease.  Later that week, I fell ill – something I ate didn’t agree to me, and my stomach was vocal on the matter.  It wasn’t completely debilitating – I went to work and all that, but I didn’t workout for two days – Thursday and Friday – in fact, my Friday night involved around 11 hours of sleep (which was fantastic!).

After exercising on Saturday and Sunday (Slimmons on Saturday, and a run on Sunday), I felt ready to tackle the new week.  Today, though, I found my mind wandering towards “what’s the point” territory.  I push myself, and work my ass off, but I haven’t dropped a pound a weeks.  I look back at my workout calendar, which shows that I’ve only exercised 4 out of the last 7 days, and think, “it’s so much easier to not work out than it is to work out.”  And then, as I leave work this evening, I knowingly take a route home that bypasses the gym.  And I’m okay with it.  Guess that makes it 4 workouts out of the past 8 days.  I’m slacking.  You can’t let this slacking take hold, David.

Food-wise, I’m getting lazy.  When I get lazy, I start snacking.  Excessively snacking.  That’s bad for me, because I can absentmindedly graze all day, to the point where I’m not exactly sure of everything that I’ve consumed.  Thinking back on today, I know I didn’t eat some of the healthy food I brought from home – broccoli and cauliflower florets, a banana – but I did eat a ton of other stuff, including crackers, 2 granola bars, 2 Reese peanut butter cups, part of this strange chocolate bar that had chai tea in it, and a lot of pretzel crisps.  There was probably more, too, but I can’t remember.  You can’t let this take hold either, David.

If I’m Madmartigan, dangling off the back of a wagon, then I need to do what Madmartigan does, and pull myself back up on the wagon, and maybe smack a bad guy with his own mace or something (which happens at 3:58 in that above cart chase clip).

So tonight, after vegging on the couch and watching yet another dumb episode of Desperate Housewives (Susan is seriously having sex dreams about Paul?  Barf), I decided to set myself up for success for the rest of this week.  And that involved four steps:

Step One:  Own my shortcomings.  That’s what I’m doing in this very blog post.  A good confession is quite cleansing.  It feels good.  I feel good sharing what I’ve shared so far, in large part because I know I’m not alone, and I know I’m not feeling anything that any of you who struggle with weight haven’t felt before.

Step Two:  Do some heavy duty mise en place.  Mise en place (pronounced ‘mees ahn plahs’) is a French phrase that literally translates as “putting in place,” and it’s a fancy-pants restaurant term for prepping your ingredients, so everything is ready to go for when you start cooking.  I have a ton of produce that I’m not eating, because I haven’t washed and prepped it.  So tonight, I spent an hour washing, peeling, slicing, and chopping fruits and vegetables so I had a ton of grab-and-go options for the rest of my lunches this week.  In total, I processed 1 mini-watermelon, 1 honeydew, 2 pounds of strawberries, 2 mangos, 1 papaya, 3 celery hearts, 3 yellow squash, 2 bell peppers, over a pound of rainbow carrots, and a cucumber into 12 containers of various sizes that will be ready for me to toss in my lunch bag:

Step Three: Plan Tomorrow’s Workout.  I’m going to the gym, and I’m gonna do thirty minutes on the Arc Trainer and 30 minutes of weight lifting, and finish it up with some ab work.

Step Four: Forget About The Numbers.  Tomorrow would normally be a weigh-in day, but I’m going to let another week go by before getting on the scale again, so I can remain focused on the process, and not get distracted by the numbers.  I can easily start obsessing about pounds and facts and figures, and I don’t need that this week.

I’m excited to share how tomorrow goes, because it’s going to go well.  I’m holding myself accountable again.  Soon, I won’t be dragging behind that runaway wagon from “Willow” – I’ll be firmly planted in the wagon, with Willow and Elora Danan and the two Brownies, helping to find the sorceress Fin Raziel.  Are you tired of all the “Willow” references yet?  I’m not.

This would be a good place to end this post with the four words I end every post with, but before I do, I wanted to include one final picture:  It’s me, wearing the new Gap zip-up long-sleeve top that I bought the other day for roughly 70% off.  It’s kinda like a hoodie, except for that there’s no hood.  I told my mom I’d take a picture of it, so why not share it with all you?

Ok, now it’s time…

Keep it up, David!