Chart Update (I Blame The Weekend)

Two blog posts in one day?  You lucky ducks!  (If you missed the first one, click here.)

I could have waited until tonight to publish this post, but I’ve decided to just write it and get it over with.  It’s Tuesday, which means it’s time to update the chart.  And when I gain, I don’t feel like blogging about it.  That’s why I’m writing about it now, instead of waiting, so I can get it off my chest and move on.

Usually I try to build some tension before unveiling my chart updates, but I’ve already shared the outcome, so… um… I’ll just show the chart.

Up one pound.

OK.  Since I weighed myself this morning, how I’ve felt and how I’ve wanted to feel have been two completely different beasts.  I wanted to succeed at what I’m been working on over the past 6 months: not beating myself up, not labeling myself a failure, not allowing myself to feel depressed, trying to remember all the positives.  There are a lot of positives:  This puts my weight loss at 169 pounds.  169 pounds!  I’ve worked out the past nine days in a row, and am going to Richard Simmons’ class in a little while (tomorrow will be a rest day).  I passed up cake and ice cream and a birthday party over the weekend and had a banana instead.

Although I’d really like to focus on all this awesomeness, all I’m actually thinking about is that pound.  I wasn’t surprised by it, to be honest – I had a hunch I might gain.  My hunch was due to my portions spiraling a little out of control over the past week.  Even though I skipped the cake and ice cream at that birthday party, I did eat a giant piece of lasagna that had three types of cheese in it and a giant piece of bread.  The night before, I went out with my buddy Tavi to a Middle Eastern restaurant, and even though we ordered only from the appetizer menu, a lot of food came our way, and I indulged.  There was a lot of oil in that meal, and I didn’t stop when I should have.

So, let’s recap.  I had a week where I made some poor choices, and knew I might gain, and sure enough, I did.  Why am I stewing over this?  Why can’t I just embrace all the good I’m doing, get back on track, and move on?

Part of it might be because before this gain, it seemed like I was on a roll.  It had been a good solid two months where I either lost or stayed the same every single week:

Since my last gain in mid-July, when I packed on three pounds in one week, I lost 7 pounds in 9 weeks.  Two of those pounds were when I was on vacation, for fuck’s sake!  I have a lot to be proud of.

And yet my mind still keeps wandering back to that pound.  Annoying.

I know what I have to do.  I need to buckle down with my portions.  I need to plan heartier, healthy meals at home on the days when I’m eating out, so I won’t be so hungry at restaurants.  At those restaurants, I need to set aside food on my plate to either save for another meal, or just not eat at all.  I can do all those things.  I’ve done all those things before.

What I really need to work on is my attitude.  Remembering that it’s just a pound, and that I’ll lose it.  Remembering that one pound in one week doesn’t change me, make me less of a person, make me a failure.  Remembering that I get nothing out of beating myself up.  I don’t benefit from these shitty thought cycles.  Remembering to just move on.

So I’m moving on.  There’s one more picture I’m going to share.  I took it a few days ago, while driving on the freeway (kids, don’t try that at home), and then forgot that I took it, until I uploaded the above chart pictures onto my computer, and there it was.

When I was a boy, I loved trucks.  I remember a preschool project where we had to draw our favorite kind of truck, and I drew a car carrier, which fascinated me (they still do).  If I had to do that same assignment today, instead of a car carrier, I might draw this truck:

JERKY TRUCK!  Never seen one of those before, and I took the picture because I had the thought that I might not ever see one again, and I wanted evidence that they exist, so nobody looks at me funny when I tell them about it, like it’s a leprechaun or unicorn.  Jerky trucks are real.  And I presume that they’re filled with jerky.

Maybe I’ll spend the rest of the day creating a story in my head about the jerky truck: where it’s going, where it’s coming from, who ordered a truckful of jerky, and what they’re going to do with all of it.  That’ll keep my mind off that goddamn stupid pound.

Keep it up, David.

8 Responses to Chart Update (I Blame The Weekend)

  1. Tavi says:

    just in case your mind does wander back to that pound, I want you to remember that you body IS shifting! In the beginning when you were loosing weight and loosing it quickly it’s cuz you had a lot to loose, that was your weight loss phase! I think you are in a new phase now. The same standards do not apply. I think if you were in the first phase and gained a pound or two, that might be something to obsess over, but now… you’re doing push-ups, assisted pull-ups, and sit ups! These are activities that you could only dream of doing a year and a half ago, but now they are a part of your reality. You, my dear David, have been building muscle! As you know, muscle weighs more than fat… so maybe the scale is not the best way to measure your progress anymore. I’m sure you will continue to loose weight, but most importantly is to keep it up. Remember that you love to exercise, and eat healthy! Oh, have you ever heard of eating for your blood type? That might be something to look into!

    (PS all you folks who read this… we shared baby spinach pies, a chicken dish, and an eggplant spread… some bread, and a lentil soup… yeah, it was filling, but it’s not like cake and ice cream sent us overboard… or Tiramisu!)

  2. Sheilah Lowe says:

    Keep your mind off that one pound. Keep it up, David!

  3. Kelly B says:

    LOVE what Tavi said to you! What a great friend!

  4. Jenna says:

    David, please remember muscle weighs more than fat. With all the workouts you’ve been doing maybe that is the case. Keep it up, and please keep inspiring us!

  5. Ryan says:

    Heya David,

    Finding strength in the face of what feels like a setback is tough. I’ve stepped on that scale and felt the feeling of not having a number that would make me feel better.

    I know that as I get closer to my goal weight, there is going to come a time where the scale no longer can represent my day, or my progress, or my current accomplishments.

    I know there is going to come a time when I need to feel that everything is A-OK, no matter what the scale says.

    These moments can be a gift, a chance for you to start practicing how great you feel about yourself, and your life, and your everyday actions and decisions, regardless of any fact, or any external measure.

    The day is coming when you will reach that goal weight, and you may need to shift your focus from the scale, to everyday moments of great love and courage, and a day like today is a great chance to practice becoming stronger, knowing you will accomplish your goals, and that a “setback” is just a moment, of many moments, of the wonderful world we’re sharing.

    Keep It Up… Just remember “It” is a multitude of amazing things, more than just the scale and the goal…

    You are doing great, you will continue to do great, no need to fear or fret, you’ve got this! 🙂

  6. modernest says:

    hi david,

    i totally agree with tavi. muscle weighs more than fat and your body is going through so much change. you are healthy (and isn’t that the most important thing?). you are right, it was such a bigger deal that you were on holiday and maintained your goals…i know you think 1 pound is a big deal, but it seems to me you were enjoying friends, fun and food and there’s nothing wrong with that! life is meant to be lived and sometimes we might stumble (or think that we did), but you already sensed that you might gain (you are so in tune with your body now) and so stop beating yourself up and work on those established patterns of thought. they, and not the lasagne, are the true enemy!

    keep it up, david!


  7. Nurse Karen says:

    Tavi is right, except the blood type diet is a myth. Sorry! No magic formula, just what you already know to do. Also, restaurant food is usually quite heavily salted so I bet you that the 16 ounces alleged gain, is partly water-weight which you will pee or sweat-out later today! I see lots of muscles growing on you, so FuhGeddaboud-It !!! Life is meant to be enjoyed and eating is one of our sensory pleasures. Eating slowly and mindfully, naturally sets our palate to ingest a “normal” amount of food when we measure our portions. I am amazed you skipped birthday cake and had that healthy banana: Way to GO, David!!! xoxo~

  8. woofless says:

    Totally random, found your blog googling images for the jerky truck, because my husband drives for that company. Actually, hard to see the antenna but it almost looks like it IS his truck. Anyway I commented just so I can confirm that, at least some of the time, those trucks are indeed filled with jerky. 🙂 Or they are going back to the jerky plant with fresh beef, to be turned into jerky. Some of the time they may contain non-jerky items such as eggs, cheese or bundt cake. But most of the time it’s jerky. Wave if you see one again, if the driver somewhat resembles Sasquatch it might just be my husband 🙂

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