At the beginning of last week, I published a post called Food Logging 101, in which I shared how I log my food. In it, I vowed to share my food logs for 7 days, so you all can see exactly what I eat for an entire week. I kept my promise, and you see those food logs at the end of this post, this post, this post, this post, and this post. Yesterday was the 7th and final day, and it turned out to be the worst food day I’ve had in a long, long time. Add in the fact that I didn’t exercise, like I planned on doing, and the day should seem like a out-and-out disaster. What’s surprised me, though, is my attitude about it. I don’t really think it’s that big of a deal!
More on my attitude later – let me first walk you through my day, and put together my food log as I do it. I slept in until about 10am or so – I was up late the night before (3am), and chose to turn off my alarms. I awoke to the sound of heavy rain pounding my windows, which is a sound I love, especially since it’s so rare in Los Angeles, and stayed in bed, listening to it, for probably another hour. A great day so far!
I finally got out of bed and headed to the kitchen to make some breakfast, although due to the late hour, it was more like brunch. Brunch ended up being:
- 2 Breakfast Burritos: 3 egg whites, scrambled with green pepper, scallion, Mrs. Dash, and cooked in PAM; 1 black bean/chipotle veggie burger, chopped up; 2-3 tbsp salsa – all mixed up and spread into 2 whole wheat tortillas.
- 1 banana
- 1 liter water + 8 oz skim milk
After eating, I threw on some gym clothes and headed down to the little gym in my building. It was too cold and wet to head out to my regular gym. Both cardio machines in the little gym – an exercise bike and an elliptical – were broken, so that was a fine how-do-you-do. I could have gone up, grabbed my car keys, and headed to my regular gym, but I didn’t. I just didn’t.
Later in the afternoon, I headed over to my friend Tavi’s house. He was having a greyhound party. Tavi has a few fruit trees in his backyard, including two grapefruit trees, and since he has more grapefruit right now than he could ever eat himself, he invited his friends over for greyhounds, which is a cocktail made from grapefruit juice and vodka.
Normally, when I head out to a party where I know there’ll be lots of snacky stuff, I prepare myself by eating before I go, so I don’t get feel hungry while I’m there. I didn’t do that today. When I’m at parties, I also try to make a point of drinking a lot of water. I didn’t do that either. I had a couple glasses of grapefruit juice (without vodka).
The party was quite nice. I met some really friendly new people, and had a great time catching up with Tavi, who I haven’t seen in a couple weeks. I also kinda went apeshit berserk with the snacks. Tavi had a lot of them out – he had stocked up at both Trader Joe’s and Costco. Here’s the list of everything I ate. I started out fine:
- about 10 strawberries
- about 6-8 pretzel sticks
A little time went by, and soon it was around dinner time. Since I didn’t eat anything before I came, I hadn’t had an actual meal since the aforementioned brunch, which was slightly before noon. So I kept eating party snacks:
- 1/2 cup of peanuts and dried cherries
- 2 brownie bites
- 2 Trader Joe’s mushroom turnover appetizer thingies
- 2 Trader Joe’s pigs-in-a-blanket appetizer thingies
At this point I decided to walk to a different part of the room, away from the food. Tavi, though, being a good host, and food set up in multiple places, and so I continued grazing:
- 5-6 ginger snap mini-cookies
- 8-10 pretzel sticks
- another 1/2 cup peanuts and dried cherries
- 3-4 Trader Joe’s chocolate-covered raspberry jellies
- 2 Trader Joe’s spanakopita appetizers (mini spinach pies)
Usually the knowledge that I have to account for all this stuff in my food log is enough to get me to stop eating, but that wasn’t working tonight. Soon, the party was over, and I stuck around to talk to Tavi a bit more, and help clean up. Before I left for the evening, I added to the list:
- 1 palmful Jelly Belly jelly beans
- 1 mini-cinnamon bun (60 calories)
- 2 more brownie bites
- 1/2 a pummelo (Tavi ate the other half – his first ever pummelo – and loved it)
- 4-5 glasses of water (finally!)
As I drove home, I started thinking: “How should I handle this on my blog? Do I not include a food log for today, and hope that no one calls me out on it? Or should I lie about my food log?” By the time I got home, I decided to just be honest, and fess up. Y’all respond well to honesty, and since I use to blog as a way to hold myself accountable, if I’m not honest with you, I’m also being honest with myself. More importantly, though, I also realized during that car ride that I don’t care.
I’ll be crystal clear: I’m not saying I don’t care about myself, or my health, or that I’ve somehow thrown in the towel or given up. That’s not the case. What I’m saying is this: I’m acknowledging, and owning up to the fact that I was not on program today. I couldn’t be much farther off program if I tried: I didn’t exercise, ate tons of junk food, didn’t eat nearly enough vegetables, didn’t drink enough water… it’s a long list.
But I know that it’s an isolated incident. I know days like this are very, very rare for me. I know that tomorrow I’ll be back on track. I know that I’m not going to beat myself up for my actions today.
I know all of this things as confidently as I know that two plus two equals four. And that confidence is exciting, because it’s very new feeling for me. Had this day happened a year ago, or even four months ago, I think I’d be flipping out, and possibly even feel ashamed or like a failure. How will I ever get back on track? How long will it take to lose the pounds I most definitely gained today? Is this the beginning of the end?
But I’m stronger now. I reviewed my whole week of food logs before writing this post, and I’m eating well. I flipped through my calender, and so far in March, I’ve worked out 16 out of 20 days. My weight loss chart shows that I’ve lost 4 pounds so far this month. I really feel like I know what I’m doing. This day was a bump in the road – hell, it was a Guatemalan sinkhole – but it’s over. I’ll recover. I’ll keep going. I’ll be fine.
Tavi gave out little gift bags to his guests as they left, and by ‘little gift bag’, I mean ‘enormous bags of grapefruit’. Here’s my haul:
That’s a pile of 28 grapefruit! I have no idea what I’m going to do with so many grapefruit, but I’ll figure it out. I pulled out some bowls and platters to create a more aesthetic arrangement:
Then it occurred to me that I was only some fancy linens and napkin rings away from having a Sandra Lee-esque tablescape, and since I can’t stand her tablescapes (click here to see what I’m talking about), all the vessels went back in the cupboard and the grapefruit are now just piled on my counter.
Regarding my confidence, and not my actions today, I end this post, like I always to, with…
…Keep it up, David!