GOOOOOOOOOOAL!

I walked into the locker room at the gym this morning to get ready to swim, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw the scale.  Just sitting there, across the way.  As I took off my jacket, hoodie, shoes and socks, I kept glancing over at it – as if, in the past 10 seconds, it had gotten up and walked away.  As I pulled my goggles out of my bag, a thought started forming, then swirling, around my brain:  I haven’t weighed myself in 5 days, but today that’s gonna change. When I had finished putting on my swimsuit and t-shirt, I walked over, took a deep breath, had a little moment of silence, and stepped up onto the platform.

The last time I weighed myself, I had held even at 251 pounds, and I was frustrated.  My current goal, to weigh 250 pounds, was within reach, just beyond my fingertips, and despite exercise and healthy eating, every single pound that makes up my body was holding on tight, refusing to let go.  In that moment, that one unrelenting pound seemed more stubborn than the 151 I had lost before it.  While I can’t remember which came first, the long, audible sigh or the “Fuck!” that was probably loud enough for the neighbors to hear, I’m certain both happened.

But that was last week.  This is today.  My bare feet were cold on the scale’s platform.  I looked in front of me, at the range of numbers going from left to right.  It’s one of those manual scales where you slide the doo-dahs back and forth until the balance beam thingamabob is perfectly hovering and not touching the top or the bottom.  I set the scale to 255, and slowly nudged the doo-dah towards the left.

254… 253…  each little nudge representing months of decisions, dedication and willpower:  temptations that I fought, junk that I bypassed at the store, substitutions that I ordered at restaurants, vending machines and candy counters that I avoided…

252… hours and hours in the gym and on the sidewalks and in the studios, pushing myself a little further…  Can you do 4 more reps?  Go for 2 minutes longer?  Raise your leg higher in this aerobics class?  You can lift, kick, pull, stretch, bend, climb, dance, and sweat through the soreness and the fatigue, David.  You can do this…

251… remembering the joy of opening the emails and text messages, reading the Facebook and blog comments, listening to the voice mails, and taking in, in whatever form they come, the support, love, and encouragement that my family, friends, and perfect strangers have endlessly, relentlessly offered, and using the compliments and double takes as fuel to continue and persevere…

250… 250?!?…  finding clothes in my closet that don’t fit anymore… seeing photos from just a year ago and not recognizing the man that I see in them… looking in the mirror and seeing someone who is braver, stronger, and more confident, staring back at me… affirming to myself, time and time again, that I am worthy.  I am worthy. I am worthy of happiness, health, love, and all the people I share my life with.  I am deserving of every single good thing that comes my way…

249… 249! The balance beam settled exactly halfway between the top and bottom, and for me, everything went quiet for a moment as I fixated on the perfecting levitating balance beam, then stared at the number the little arrow was pointing to, then soaked in everything that those three digits really meant.

249.  This is what it feels like to weigh under 250 pounds.

249.  This is what it feels like to not just reach your goal, but crash through it by an extra pound.

249.  Holy Crap – look at what I’ve done!  This is an incredible, astounding, jaw-dropping accomplishment!  These 153 pounds that I’ve lost (is it really 153? Yes, it is!) will continue to reward me for the rest of my life.  The dividends will never cease.  I am doing the single most important thing I could ever do, and I am succeeding.

249!

KEEP IT UP, DAVID!

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16 Responses to GOOOOOOOOOOAL!

  1. Amy :-) says:

    Congratulations Dave!!!!! That is really an amazing accomplishment and you are such an inspiration. I’m so very happy for you!!!
    xoxo

  2. Tavi says:

    so now I’m crying! thanks a lot! and CONGRATULATIONS!!! and what a perfect time to celebrate… the holidays with family in a winter wonder land! I think you deserve that extra special reward, not the bags of oreo’s you dreamed of, but that amazing feeling of knowing that you deserve all the goodness that is in your life. I’m so excited to see how this path continues. looks like the little baby Jesus gave you the most perfect holiday gift!

    • David says:

      I swear, Tavi, I haven’t thought about oreos in, like, 2 weeks, and yet you’re the one always bringing them up, texting me pictures of them… I’m starting to wonder which one of us is really the one dreaming about them! 🙂 See you in January. xo

  3. Karen says:

    Congratulations!! That is a big deal, and all your blog readers are so proud! Keep it up!!

  4. Tara says:

    As someone that just hit goal weight (and then some) I totally get this. The frustrations, the elation. You deserve this! You are succeeding. You are LIVING!

  5. Mom says:

    Congratulations, David. I knew you could do it!!!

  6. thebettylife says:

    Well done! What an amazing feeling to lose more weight than you expected. Keep it up, David!

  7. stefiajane says:

    Congratulations on reaching goal!!!!! chuffed for you!

  8. Ashley says:

    Whooohooo! That’s GREAT!

  9. mercade says:

    Congratulations! What a feeling to finally break through like that! I envy you that feeling. I haven’t felt that in ages. I’m struggling with maintenance which can be quite the challenge in and of itself!

    I am so excited for you! Keeps that motivation up and makes all the sacrifice and determination so worth it!

    (standing ovation!)

    • David says:

      Thank you for the standing ovation and very kind comment! I’ve heard how tough maintenance can be – but I’ll be up for a challenge when the time comes. Keep it up!

  10. Pat says:

    Sad that the graph is sitting alone, in LA, un-updated.

  11. Jeff Dinkin says:

    Really cool to go back and read this, nearly 7 years later!

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