Despite the circumstances, we had a nice visit (it also helped that the outcome of the surgery provided so much good news). We saw extended family a couple times, and before the surgery we had a nice meal out and saw “The Great Gatsby.” The other day we both wanted to get out of my place for a little while, so we turned a trip to Trader Joe’s into a pleasant scenic drive, where I pointed out a few celebrity homes and stopped at two very scenic overlooks on Mulholland, the road that winds across the top of the Hollywood Hills.

I only see my mom a couple times a year, and luckily for me, I’ll get to see her (and my dad) in about a month, so that will be really nice. Plus, she left behind presents in my freezer in the form of healthy food:

The top shelf, and part of the second shelf, has containers of chicken barley soup (my version of this recipe can be found here), which is loaded with lean protein (chicken breast, black beans) and veggies. There’s also a couple of containers of chicken noodle soup, which my cousins Macrae and Erik brought over.

Macrae also brought over a vat (literally) of amazing homemade spaghetti sauce, which had organic lean beef, carrots, celery, and other veggies in it. It made for a delicious dinner, with enough leftovers for both my fridge and my freezer. Here’s the sauce over a bed of spinach (I also had some over pasta, but forgot to take of picture of that):

Maybe if you ask nicely in the comments section, Macrae will share her recipe!

All this is to say that I’ve been making really smart choices and eating well since my surgery. I stepped on the scale yesterday morning and had lost a pound during the past 8 days, so my effort is paying off. I don’t expect to keep losing weight, since my recovery orders specify no exercise and prohibit me from lifting anything that’s over 5 pounds, but hopefully I won’t gain anything either. That’s a reasonable goal, and I think I can do it.

Generally speaking, my recovery is going well. I’m extremely bruised and swollen, but the pain and discomfort is very much aided by the pills I’m taking. I’ve worked from home the past couple days, and the plan is to go into the office today, for a few hours at least, because I’m getting a little cabin fever in my condo.

But I digress. The other half of that double-whammy was that my car was burgled, while parked in the gated garage under my building. There wasn’t a forced entry, which meant I accidentally left a door unlocked after that scenic drive to Trader Joe’s. The thief took my prescription sunglasses, a bunch of gift cards that I had stashed at the bottom of my armrest (including some that I won at a charity auction), and about 8 dollars in quarters (my parking meter money). Altogether, roughly $700 worth of stuff.

Ugh.

But the day got better. I had a great nap. I spoke with my doctor, who confirmed that the bruising and swelling were all par for the course. I got work done. I finished half of a project that I’ve been meaning to work on. Oh, and I won $5 in the lottery! (I reinvested it in more tickets.)

Then, I watched the finale of “The Office.” I’ve watched this show since the beginning, and stuck with it, even when I thought the quality was deteriorating. They pulled out all the stops for what I thought was a perfect finale: funny, touching, awkward, satisfying. Near the end of the episode, Pam, while talking about her relationship with Jim, said this:

“It took me so long to do so many important things. It’s just hard to accept that I spent so many years being less happy than I could have been.”

And that’s when I started crying. Right there, on my couch, with a package of frozen peas on my junk. Those two sentences really hit home for me. They reminded me of all the good things that I have going for me. I tend to dwell on the negative, but I’m in a really great spot right now. I have awesome family and friends. I’m smart and talented. I’ve taken control of my health and I’ve stuck with it. Oh, and I don’t have cancer!

Like I mentioned in a recent post, I used to think that I was destined to always be unhappy with at least part of my life. I refused to accept that I was worthy of anything more. And that’s so ridiculously untrue. I ended up waiting until I was in my thirties to take control of my health and start believing that I deserved happiness. I still struggle with a lot of things, but I’m in a much better place that I was a few years ago.

I try hard to not have regrets. I honestly believe that every decision that I’ve made (including the mistakes) has shaped me somehow and brought me to where I am right now, and where I am right now is a pretty great place to be. But when Pam said those words during the final episode of “The Office,” I couldn’t help but wonder what my life would be like had I had the strength and courage to take control of my well-being years ago. When I first moved to California. Or in college. Or in high school.

In the end, it doesn’t matter, because it happened the way it happened, and I love who I’ve become, what I stand for, and that I get to share my life with so many special people.

Pam went on to say, in the same speech:

“It’d be great if people saw this documentary and learned from my mistakes. Not that I’m a tragic person; I’m really happy now. But it would just… just make my heart soar if someone out there saw this, and she said to herself: ‘Be strong. Trust yourself. Love yourself. Conquer your fears. Just go after what you want, and act fast, because life just isn’t that long.’”

Now I’m crying again. Doing those things can be so terribly difficult, but the rewards can be so huge that they’re life-altering. And that’s something I should always remember.

You know what? So should you.

Keep it up, David.

My surgery was yesterday, and it went swimmingly. (Don’t know what I’m talking about? Catch up here.) The good news actually started coming in before the operation began. A week ago, my urologist had ordered some tests, including one to see if there were markers in my blood. Markers are chemicals that tumors create. They’re detectable in blood and can serve as signs that a cancer is present. My blood came back negative for all the markers.

The surgery itself also went well. After opening me up, the doctor located the paratesticular mass and discovered it was a nasty, stubborn infection. He was able to cut away about 70% of it, and left the rest to heal on its own. It really was the best possibly scenario. And I still have two testicles! That’s very good news.

I have a follow-up appointment soon. There are a bunch of questions I want to ask, and the doctor will make sure that I’m healing properly. I still haven’t seen the incision – I have to keep it bandaged for another day, but apparently it’s only 3 or 4 inches long.

The surgery was at 7:15am yesterday, and I got home around noon. Since then I’ve been sleeping a lot, reading magazines, and vegging out on the couch. The pain is consistent but light. It’s very manageable, especially if I don’t move around too much. I had been bummed that the operation would prohibit me from exercising, but at the moment, exercise is the last thing I want to do.

My mom is here to help out, and we have a fridge full of healthy food. I’ve been making good choices, and will continue to do so.

And that, my friends, is the update. Thanks for all the thoughts, messages, and good vibes you’ve sent my way!

Keep it up, David.

Anyway, because the surgery will keep me away from strenuous exercise for 2-4 weeks, I decided I better get my fill of Slimmons classes while I could. So, last week, I went twice, with Thursday being my last class for a while.

It was a really fun class, and Richard Simmons was his usual zany, energetic self. There was a camera crew there, too! Camera crews at Slimmons aren’t terribly uncommon – he lets some show or another film there every few months or so (and, as a result, I’ve briefly been on a number of shows, including The Doctors and blink-and-you-miss-it appearances on Tia & Tamera, Fox News, and the Today Show).

The crew on Thursday was from the NFL Network, and they did an interview with Richard and shot footage throughout class for use in an upcoming show called “Top Ten Ageless Wonders.” One of Richard’s many wonderful qualities is that he rarely misses an opportunity to highlight people that are successful with their weight loss. During a break in the class, he called over the cameraman and made the cameraman follow him around while he pointed out success stories and talked with them. So, long story short, the NFL Network has footage of me sharing my weight loss! I doubt they’ll use it, as it probably won’t aid in telling the stories they want to tell on “Top Ten Ageless Wonders,” but who knows… maybe I’ll be on TV again! The show will likely air sometime in August… so keep an eye out!

The other thing I wanted to do in this post is respond to a blog comment I got recently. It’s from a reader named Pat, who wrote:

Your success is amazing, David! You look like a different person! I just got Richard Simmons new Project HOPE in the mail but I am reluctant to start yet another diet. I’m just so sick of it, ya know? I love Richard and how much he cares about people, but I don’t know if I have the stones to do it anymore.

First of all, thanks for the kind words, Pat. More importantly, I know exactly where you’re coming from. Before I started losing weight, I was resigned to the idea that I’d never be able to lose weight. I was certain I would always be that size, and I would just have to deal with it. I had tried a number of times to lose weight: I did Weight Watchers in high school. I was on a hospital-run liquid diet in college. I tried a number of diets since moving out to California. Some were more successful than others, but they never stuck. The weight always came back.

It feels awful when you gain back weight that you’ve lost. When I first met Richard and he offered to help me lose weight, I was terrified, because I already thought of myself as a failure when it came to my health, and I knew that if I tried something new, and it didn’t work, or I gained the weight back, I would be an even bigger failure. So why even try, right? But deep down I knew I was unhappy, and deep down I knew I deserved more.

Here’s the thing, Pat. You want to make a change and lose weight. That’s not easy. It’s going to require work, willpower, and sacrifice. You’ll have to confront the junk food in your pantry and choose to not eat it. You’ll have to pick up your gym shoes and decide to exercise. And if you’re not ready for those confrontations and decisions, than whatever program you embark on won’t work.

But I suspect there’s an inkling of possibility ricocheting around your head. There was a part of you that was inspired enough to pick up the phone and order Project H.O.P.E. You felt ready and eager, or you wouldn’t have pulled out your credit card and authorized the payment. So what’s changed?  Right now there’s a great package sitting on your table with everything you need to get started within it. All you gotta do is act on it, open the package, pop in a DVD, and go!

I completely relate to the thought of not having the stones to embark on yet another potentially fruitless endeavor. I get it. Losing weight is gonna be something that takes a lot of time and energy, for months on end. Probably years. So my question for you is:  What can you do tomorrow? Forget about the months and years, and think about tomorrow. Can you open Project H.O.P.E. and do one 30-minute workout? Can you get a side salad at lunch instead of fries? You don’t need to commit to counting every calorie and limiting intake of this or that – but commit to something, anything, no matter how small. Then, after you honor that commitment, set a goal for the next day. Keep going like that. You get the idea. You might just realize you have the stones to do a lot more than you think!

Keep it up, Pat, and…

Keep it up, David.

Moving on…

If you’ve been a diligent Keep It Up, David reader (and I know each and every one of you has been, right?), than you’ll remember that, about a month ago, I fell off the wagon (and directly onto a pile a junk food) and stayed off the wagon for a couple weeks after a health concern unexpectedly threw me for a major loop. As the aforementioned two pounds shows, I’m back on the wagon and making progress on losing the weight I gained, but I left you in the dark about what else is going on. Well, you won’t be in the dark for much longer. Here’s what’s going on:

About a month ago, I felt a lump on my testicle. I found it a few days after my Aon Center stair climb, which left my entire lower body sore for about two days. By the third day, I was no longer sore, except for in one area, and decided it was time for a self exam. And that lead to me discovering the lump.

I freaked out. I called my Primary Care Doctor, and got a referral to a urologist. I talked to my dad, who is a physician. I did a little internet research, but then decided to stop, because my mind was already going to the worst places, and the internet only worsened it. I got anxious and scared, and started eating whatever I wanted, in spectacularly large quantities. I didn’t know if the lump was related to or caused by the stair climb, so I suspended exercising.

It took 9 days until I could see the urologist, who confirmed the presence of the lump and ordered an ultrasound. He explained that it could be any number of things, and the ultrasound would provide more information, including if the mass was tissue or fluid. It’s not painful, and I don’t have additional side effects so that ruled out a bunch of things, but there’s still a lot we don’t know.

The ultrasound happened about 5 days after that, and it confirmed that the mass was tissue. It’s actually a paratesticular mass, which means it’s not within my testicle, but adjacent to it. It could be growing on one of the structures around the testicle, like the epididymis. My doctor told me that there’s a chance it could be cancer, but there’s also a “slew of other things it could be” (and that’s a direct quote). I told that to my brother, who is a third-year resident at a hospital in New York, and he looked it up while we were talking on the phone, and found a 30-item list of possibilities.

So, I still don’t know what the lump is, but I’m going to find out soon, because my urologist wants to do an exploratory surgery. This is happening soon (I’m not going to share when or where on this blog, but if you’re a personal friend, reach out via phone/text/email and I can fill you in). IF YOU’D RATHER NOT READ ABOUT THE SPECIFICS OF THE SURGERY, SKIP TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH. He’s going to make an incision near my bikini line, locate the artery and vas deferens, and follow them to the testicle. The lump will be examined, and a sample will be taken and given to a pathologist, who will examine it on the spot. Depending on what it is and how and where it’s growing, a course of action will be determined and executed right then and there. It may result in an orchiectomy, which is the clinical term for removing the entire testicle, if need be. Then I’ll get stitched up and sent on my way. It’s an outpatient procedure.

I need to be prepared for the fact that, on the day of my surgery, I’ll enter the hospital with two testicles but I may leave with only one. That’d be a big ol’ bummer.

Emotionally, I’m in a much better place than I was a few weeks ago. The worst part about all this is the uncertainty – that’s what really threw me off my game. The stress, anxiety and fear caused me to return to some bad behaviors, which I’ve been able to pull myself away from. Now, even though I still don’t know what the mass is, a course of action is in place, and that’s reassuring. It’s also reassuring to know that it’s very likely that the surgery will take care of everything: if it’s something bad, than they’ll remove it. End of story.

I’ve also been reminding myself that even the worst case scenario isn’t bad at all. If it cancer, it’s one of the best cancers to have. Testicular cancer hardly ever spreads to other parts of the body, and it’s relatively easy to remove. Survival rates for testicular cancer hover between 95-99%; it has one of the highest cure rates of all cancers. Even losing a testicle isn’t really that big a deal. Men can function just fine with one; losing a testicle won’t affect fertility, hormones, or anything else.

It’s still a little scary, but now I’m looking forward to the surgery, just so I can be done with it and move on. I’ve undergone a battery of pre-op tests this week to make sure I’m healthy enough to handle the anesthesia that I’ll be given. I like my urologist, who is very nice and informative, and I feel safe in his care. My mom is flying out to be here with me during the operation, which I’m thankful for. I’ve done all I can do, and now I just gotta wait for the surgery to happen.

The other crappy part is that my doctor predicts that I’ll have to stay away from strenuous activity and exercise for 2-4 weeks after the operation. It’s especially crappy since I’ve worked hard recently to get back on track, and I’m in the middle of a good streak (I’ve exercised 10 of the last 13 days). I’ll try my best to eat well while I’m laid up, but I’m sure the lack of exercise will be a challenge. And I’m up for it!

I don’t know when I’ll next be able to post – it may not be until after the surgery. When I’m feeling well enough to do so,  I’ll update everyone. In the meantime, I’m exercising while I still can, and I’m eating well too.

Keep it up, David!

A great big hello to any new readers out there. I got a ton of traffic yesterday because the Everyday Health column about me was featured on the AOL Homepage – what a wonderful surprise to wake up to! So… I welcome any new readers that are sticking around (and I hope you do!) – and don’t forgot to follow me on Facebook and Twitter!

Last week, during my weigh-in post, I mentioned that I’ve been communicating with my two sisters in an ongoing text message stream as a way to stay accountable and check in about how we’re doing. I find it very helpful and fun, but it’s just one of two things that I’ve started in the past couple weeks to help with accountability. The other is…

…The Double-D Workout Challenge!

My friend Debbie and I came up with this program together (Debbie… David… hence Double-D!). I’ve known Debbie since middle school. Here we are, with our friend Steve on the left, in a photo taken at our high school graduation party in 1997.

If I look like a zombie in that picture, and I think I kinda sorta do, it’s because that picture was taken in the middle of the night. Maybe 2 or 3am. Oh, and we’re all holding money we won in a cash-grab machine!

After high school, Debbie and I went to different colleges and fell out of touch for a good long time, but a few years back we reconnected (yay social media!) and now chat pretty regularly. Debbie lives in Boston with her hubby and kid, and she’s been trying to get more active. Since I’ve been trying to get back on track after my 2-week relapse, we came up with a plan that motivates us both to exercise. It’s a plan that has penalties and rewards. And it’s totally customizable, so steal it and make it your own! Here are the official rules:

THE DOUBLE-D WORKOUT CHALLENGE!

Rules:

1.) Participants will work out at least five days per week.  Each week will start on a Sunday at 12:00 am and end on Saturday, 11:59 pm.

2.) Exercise must be at least 35 minutes of moderate (or more) activity.  Lighter exercise is acceptable, provided that the time spent is equivalent to 35 minutes of moderate.

3.) Participants must provide a weekly report by Sunday, 11:59 pm via email.  Each report must contain the day/date of each workout, the type of exercise, and number of minutes for each exercise. Participants may also include reflections, encouragement, or a healthy recipe in their email.

4.) Bonus workouts (like a 6th workout during one week) may not be applied to another week or ‘banked’ for use during a future week when you don’t reach your goals.  Extra minutes on one day cannot be ‘banked’ for another day.

Rewards/Penalties:

5.) A missed workout equals 1 strike. (Therefore, working out 4 times instead of 5 during any given week equals 1 strike). Every time a participant reaches 3 strikes, they must provide a $5.00 gift card/egift card to the other contestant within 72 hours, from a retailer that is accessible to both participants. Gift cards cannot be used to purchase unhealthy foods. After reaching 3 strikes, your strike count gets reset to zero.

6.) Any participant who completes three weeks of working out with no strikes will receive a non-monetary, homemade gift provided by the other participant.

*All rules will be followed using the honor system.

We started drafting the rules about a week and a half ago, emailing versions of it back and forth, making tweaks and additions. The week that ended three days ago was a trial week, and the challenge started for real this past Sunday. The trial week was a complete success for both of us; we each completed 5 workouts of appropriate length and intensity, with Debbie doing additional exercise, thanks to dogs she has to walk and a toddler son that she walks to preschool.

The great thing about the Double-D Workout Challenge is that is can totally be adapted to fit your life. All you need to do is find someone to challenge! If 5 days of exercise isn’t right for you, than make it 4. Or 3. Or 6!  If you’re new to exercise and can only do 20 minutes, adapt the rules to accommodate that. If you and your Challenge partner live in the same town, a reward could be one of you taking the other to the movies. If you and your Challenge partner live in the same house, make a penalty a chore that neither of you like doing, or a project that you don’t want to tackle (like cleaning out the garage)! The template is there – how you switch it up is up to you!

It’s Monday evening as I write this, and I’ve already completed two of my five workouts this week. So far so good! The bummer is that in a few days, I’ll need to suspend my involvement in the Double-D Workout Challenge for a few weeks. Debbie knows this already and is supportive. It ties into the health concern that I very vaguely mentioned a few posts ago. A lot has happened since I wrote that post, and I’m going to share some of it in a post later this week. Don’t know how much, I have yet to figure that out, but I want and need to address it, because it’s going to have definite ramifications on my physical activity over the next month. It’s not going to be an easy month. So… um… tune in next time for a big update!

I’ll end this with a run down of my workouts from the trial week:

• SUN 4/28: Hike – Fryman Canyon – 90 minutes (moderate-to-brisk pace, significant elevation changes) – This is the hike that ended with an unexpected moment of inspiration.
• MON 4/29:  Arc Trainer (Cardio Machine) – 40 minutes
• TUES 4/30:  Slimmons class – approx 75 minutes – These break down to 45 min cardio/dance, 10 min toning, 10 min situps/pushups, 5 min motivational pep talk.
• THURS 5/2: Adaptive Motion Trainer (Cardio Machine) 40 minutes
• SAT 5/4:  StairMaster – 12 minutes (43 floors); Seated Elliptical – 24 minutes

Keep it up, David!

I filled out the questionnaire before I had my most recent weigh-in and before I fessed up to the troubles I’ve been having this month, but I just reread what I wrote, and it all rings true, and is all good advice for the situation I find myself in now. So nice that the me of the past is looking out for the me of the future!

In other news, today marks the end of the first week of getting back on track.  Well, it’s almost the end of the first week… I technically gotta make it through the end of today, but I’m well on my way to making that happen. I’ve been thinking a lot about my scale, and I’ve decided to return to a weekly weigh-in. It took me some trial and error, but a long time ago I realized that weighing in monthly worked for me – I tend to get obsessed over numbers, and weighing in too frequently led to bad habits. On the other end of the spectrum, weighing myself too infrequently led to a lack of accountability, and I found that once a month was a happy medium.

But, as I embark on a goal to lose what I’ve gained this month, I think I’ll need the motivation that a scale can provide, so I’m gonna try returning to a weekly weigh-in. I’m not making any long-term commitments here – let’s just see how it goes, and tweak the plan accordingly. Flexibility is key.

I’ll probably continue updating my weight loss chart once a month. But who knows, maybe I’ll tweak that plan, too.

I’m excited to head into the weekend. I’m gonna get two great workouts in – they’re at the top of my to-do list!

Keep it up, David!

It’s the first day of May, and that means it’s time for a weigh-in. Wanna see what two weeks of uninhibited eating and no exercise did to me? Here, take a look at my scale:

That right there is a fifteen pound gain. But, believe it or not, I’m pretty sure there’s good news too. Normally I’ve only been weighing myself once a month, but I weighed myself in the middle of those two weeks where I had completely fallen off the wagon (and, let’s face it, down the side of a mountain), and I weighed the same, within a few tenths of what you see above. That was on Monday, April 22, and I continued to pig out for four more days. I didn’t start hauling myself back on the wagon until Friday, April 26.

I suspect that I may have gained more weight during those final four pig out days, and lost those pounds during the five days where I’ve been in much better control. And if that’s true, it means that I’ve already begun turning things around, and, despite the fifteen pound gain, that makes me feel good.

It still was a crappy line to add to my Weight Loss Chart:

But then I took a step back, and reminded myself that while it’s pretty dramatic spike in the above photograph, it’s much, much, much less dramatic when you look at the chart as a whole:

The good choices continue, and with the help and support of some family and friends, I’ve established a couple helpful ways to stay accountable. One of them is a daily check-in with both of my sisters about what’s going on. It’s really simple – we keep a three-way text message thread going, and share, every day, how we’re doing and what’s tripping us up. I don’t see my sisters very often (Sarah lives in Colorado, and Laura’s in Chicago), so it’s good to stay connected, and we’ve pledged to reach out for help when we’re struggling with our vices. We’re less than a week into it, but so far so good! The other accountability tactic is an exercise competition with a friend, but I’m going to save that for another post, since we haven’t officially started it yet – we’re just finishing up hashing out the rules.

After two weeks of no exercise, I’ve now worked out for the last 5 days in a row. Today is a planned rest day, but that’s a nice little streak!

Keep it up, David!

While it’s a big improvement from how I was eating last week, I haven’t been perfect. Since I last blogged, I had a late-night episode that involved an after-midnight convenience store run, where I bought peanut butter cookies and a big bag of Combos (cheddar cheese cracker, my favorite). The other usual suspects showed up to the party, too – namely, guilt and regret – but I brushed myself off in the morning and let it go. For me, one of the hardest parts about a binge is forgiving myself and moving on. I’m a world-class champion at beating myself up over my mistakes, and it’s not a good thing to be a world-class champion at.

I also had a nice unexpected moment of inspiration and reflection. On Sunday morning, I met my friend Amy for a hike. I haven’t seen Amy in a year or two. We met bright and early at a trail that goes up into the Hollywood hills, and had a great 90-minute catch up session while tackling some good elevation changes. After we parted ways, I left the parking lot (where she parked) and headed down to where I parked, on the street.

Surrounding that parking lot is a metal guard rail, and in the corner, there’s a gap between two parts of it. It’s a very narrow gap, and as I approached it on Sunday, I remembered how I would look at it, years ago when I was much heavier, and think ‘there’s no way I could fit; I’ll have to go around.’  I took a picture of the gap – it’s only a couple inches wider than the span of my hand:

Can you guess what’s comes next?  I fit through the gap. What a nice surprise… I FIT THROUGH THE GAP! It wasn’t hard, either – definitely not as tight a fit as an octopus passing through a 1-inch hole. I just turned sideways, held my breath, sucked in my gut, and passed through. My back and belly made contact with the rails, but that’s no big deal.

In retrospect, it seems like such a trivial event, but it’s moments like this that really excite me. It’s been three years since I’ve weighed over 400 pounds – long enough to have forgotten some of the muscle memories that come with being that size. So when something happens that reminds of the changes that I’ve made when I least expect it, I get jubilant. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the struggles from the past few weeks, but this was a big picture reminder that I’ve done something extraordinary, and I needed that.

Keep it up, David!

First, I don’t need more reasons to get back on track – a 15-pound weight gain is enough, thankyouverymuch – but another one presented itself midway through my Friday when I popped a button on my pants. Ugh.

I’m handy enough with a needle and thread to reattach this, but it does not feel good to literally break an article of clothing. I’m thankful those pants also had a decorative drawstring that lasted me throughout the rest of my day!

As I mentioned in my last post (read it here if you missed it), I set two healthy living goals for Friday, and I ended up meeting both of them. Woohoo!

Goal #1 was to make smart choices when I went out to lunch with friends, and I ended up ordering a big salad with mixed greens, apples, gorgonzola, and light dressing. I had them hold the candied walnuts.

It was a fun lunch and the salad was delicious.

Goal #2 was to work out for the first time in over two weeks. I ended up spending some quality time on the cross-ramp elliptical at my gym. Check out my workout summary:

Not too shabby! Sometimes I get annoyed when fitness experts on TV talk about how good exercise feels, because a lot of the time I don’t like doing it, even though it needs to get done. Last night was a good reminder, though, that those experts are right. It felt great to sweat and move, and it provided a good natural high for the rest of the evening.

I ended up capitalizing on reaching my two goals by adding a third goal, which was to stock up on healthy food. If you looked in my fridge during the past week, all you would’ve found was a bunch of condiments and a box of baking soda. I’m not exaggerating.  Making healthy choices is impossible when healthy options don’t exist in your house!

One of my favorite supermarkets is right down the street from my gym, so after my workout, I loaded up on the good stuff, including lots of fruit…

…and vegetables…

Not pictured: pantry items (low-sodium soups, beans), and protein sources (eggs, yogurt, tofu). I left the store and immediately thought of about 4 things I forgot, but I’ll get them next time.

I’m now on Day 2 of making smart choices. I’ve already worked out today (48 minutes on a recumbent bike), eaten well, and have lots of ideas about what to do with the contents of my newly stocked fridge.

Keep it up, David!

I don’t want to beat around the bush, so I’ll just say it: I’ve let myself go, and I’m struggling to find any motivation to make healthy choices whatsoever. A big part of the reason why is thanks to a health concern that’s arisen in the past couple weeks. I’m going to be cryptic here, because I’m still processing what’s going on, and I’m not ready to share it yet. I’m sure I probably will, at some point, but not yet. It first reared its ugly head a few days after my wonderfully successful stair climb, and as a result, I decided to take a few days off from working out.

It’s now been over two weeks since my last workout. I’m not out of the woods in regards to that health concern, but I’m physically able to exercise, and I haven’t been. There’s a packed gym bag in my home, but I’m walking by it every morning.

In addition to that, I’ve been eating poorly. I’ve hit drive-thrus and convenience stores. My normal routine of planning meals and buying healthy options at the grocery store has gone out the window.

The truth is that while this health concern has led to many poor eating choices, my habits were already starting to slip. The past couple months have featured more ‘what-can-I-get-away-with’ moments that I would like to admit. I’ve found myself justifying unhealthy meals and snacks or outrageous portions because I ate well the rest of the day. Or because I ate well the day before. Or because I planned to eat well the day after. And, for a long time, those little episodes weren’t having that bad of an effect. I’ve more or less maintained my weight, within a range of a few pounds, for months, thanks to exercise and my ability to eat well most of the time.

Take away the exercise and the willpower to eat well, and what’s happened is that the exception has become the norm. In the past few weeks I’ve made more bad choices that I’ve made good. And that’s been reflected on the scale. I weighed myself earlier this week, and I was up about 15 pounds since my April 1st weigh-in. You’d think that would scare me into making immediate changes, but it didn’t. I might be up a few more since then.

I’ve struggled with staying motivated in the past, and I’ve found ways to refocus and switch things up. This time is proving to be more difficult. This health issue will most likely be resolved by mid-May, but I can’t keep eating junk because of fear or anxiety or comfort until then. One of the reasons I’ve delayed writing this post is because I hadn’t put together a plan, and, to be honest, I still haven’t.

But I can start making one right now. I can make a commitment to exercise tomorrow. That’s doable. My gym bag is already packed. And I can make a commitment to eat a healthy lunch tomorrow. That’s also doable, because I have plans to have lunch with friends, and I always make great choices when others are present (it’s when I’m alone that the trouble starts). And I can continue to be honest about my transgressions, like I’m doing in this post. That’s another good thing.

So I do have a plan. A couple steps is all I need to get started. I began this whole weight loss endeavor three years ago with a few baby steps, and it worked then. I can make it work now. In many ways I feel like I’m starting at square one, but there’s one huge difference: three years ago, I didn’t know if I’d succeed in losing any weight.

Now I know what I’m capable of. And I’m capable of A LOT. And that list keeps getting longer and longer.

So now, more than ever, I just need to… Keep it up, David.