Chart Update & Chart Thoughts

It’s been three and a half weeks since I’ve updated my weight loss chart. The last time I posted an update, it was a completely different month! My 2012 plan was to weigh myself every 2 weeks – often enough to keep tabs on my progress, but infrequently enough so I don’t become obsessed with the scale and weigh myself a ridiculous amount of times, forcing myself to move the scale to the trunk of my car.

So how did three and a half weeks pass with me stepping foot on the scale? Good question. I can honestly say that the scale slipped my mind last week, when I was due for a weigh-in. I think that because my weigh-ins are spaced further apart, I feel less pressure, and am thinking about the scale less often.

This is a good thing. I’ve been torn the past few weeks months half a year, because I don’t want the results of my weigh-ins to dictate my week or my life. On the other hand, I want to continue losing weight, and I’m trying to continue losing weight, and I want the progress reports that only a scale can provide. Yes, yes, there are lots of ways to measure success, and I embrace them, but I will always need a scale.

The past three and a half weeks are the perfect example why. February has been kind of up and down for me. I’ve been in a bit of a rut – there have been stretches where I’ve let depression get the better of me, and periods where I’ve really worked hard on eating well and exercising. As I was stepping on the scale yesterday morning, it occurred to me that I didn’t have a prediction for what the outcome would be. A lot happens in three and a half weeks, and while this week I’ve felt pretty good about my choices, it hasn’t been that way all month long.

The outcome ended up being this:

Up 2 Pounds. I’m not distraught over 2 pounds. But it confirmed something that I pretty much already knew, which is that if I don’t pay attention to my scale, the pounds will return. They’ll creep back, slowly but surely, and before I know it, I’ll be 25 pounds heavier… 35 pounds heavier… 50 pounds heavier… I’ve dieted enough in my life, and gained back enough weight to know this is FACT. I suspect many of you have had similar experiences.

Do you wanna know my first reaction when 239 popped up on the scale display? My mind went to this blog, and my readers, and I thought, I’m a fraud. I’m a weight loss blogger that isn’t losing weight. I’m going to lose my credibility and people will think less of me.

I KNOW that’s complete bullshit, but I thought it anyway. I KNOW my readers are a group of incredibly supportive, loving, wonderful people who come here for a ton of reasons, and can relate to what I share and how I share it. I KNOW it’s human to make mistakes. I KNOW I’m brave to write about mine. I KNOW I shouldn’t hold myself to a higher standard than anyone else in my shoes just because I made the decision to share, very publicly, how I’m succeeding and how I’m struggling.

Furthermore, I KNOW that there’s not much I can do that would cause people to think less of me. I KNOW I’m loving, smart, handsome, funny, giving, insightful, clever, unique, special. I KNOW I can count, on one hand, the number of negative comments I’ve gotten, and still have fingers left over for nose-picking and bird-flipping. I also KNOW that what other people think of me is none of my business (to paraphrase RuPaul), and that it should be the least of my concerns.

But I still think it. I wish it was the positives that flooded my brain, but more often than not, it’s the negatives. And I’m really tired of it.

So I’m going to go into this weekend reminding myself of the positives. I’m going to remind myself of all my extraordinary qualities I mentioned above. I’m going to talk to the people in my life that I care about and love so much, that make my life so full of light and laughter. And at the top of that list is the guy I see in the mirror.

KEEP IT UP, DAVID.

PS. My current weight loss is 163 pounds, and that’s FUCKING AMAZING!

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14 Responses to Chart Update & Chart Thoughts

  1. LNR says:

    I’m curious if you ever measure yourself (waist, thighs, arms, etc.) in addition to checking the scale. With all the exercise you’ve been doing it certainly seems possible that you’ve lost fat, but put on muscle. And since muscle weighs more than fat it wouldn’t show a difference just by checking the scale.

    (Apologies if this has been covered before – I must admit I haven’t read all your posts and I don’t read other people’s comments)

  2. Sheilah Lowe says:

    Your PS says it all!! Keep it up, David!

  3. Joanne Greene says:

    “..and still have fingers left over for nose-picking and bird-flipping” OhMyGosh that is hilarious and made me laugh so loud!!!

    163 pounds lost IS fucking amazing! David, you are the first ‘real’ person that I met at Slimmons who showed me that it really was possible to lose 100+ pounds without pills, powders, potions or surgeries, and seeing your transformation psyched me up for the long road ahead as I started my journey last year. Your blog shows that this adventure/journey is not a simple straight line right down the hill, it has some ups and some downs, some twists and turns, and is both exhilarating and frustrating. In the end though, it is worth it! Thank you so much for your honesty in your blog. See you soon.

  4. J. says:

    I don’t think your a fraud, but get the scale back in the bathroom. Studies show daily weighers keep the weight off more successfully.

  5. Steve says:

    Aww man, if you consider yourself a fraud for gaining 2lbs, then I must be the equivalent of Bernie Madoff!

    Btw, 163 pounds is fucking amazing, and YOU are fucking amazing!

  6. Kelly Bo-Belly says:

    Ditto what Steve says!

  7. Ashley says:

    Thank you for all of your blogging and sharing your journey. You have done amazing. I can relate so much with this last post. I have lost a large amount of weight and people are always saying how great I look and how great I am doing. However, I gained quite a bit in the past few months. Back on track and I have still lost a large amount of weight. I just have to remember that a few gained could never compare to the amount lost and not avoid the scale like I did for a couple of months! Thank you for your inspiration.

  8. Nichelle says:

    We love you David and we are proud of you and grateful that you share the good and the bad. You’re brave enough to publicize the daily struggle that most of us experience. Love love love

  9. Well gee whiz… just keep it up, David. It’s a long long journey. if you didn’t have something to battle, no one would come to your website to read it.

  10. Tara says:

    “PS. My current weight loss is 163 pounds, and that’s FUCKING AMAZING!”

    THIS.

    PERIOD!

  11. Nurse Karen says:

    I agree with LNR & your own smart self. I hadn’t seen you for a while, and at Gerry’s birthday party I saw a more slender, vibrantly healthy man. I’m sorry, but I disagree with daily weighing. If you take a dump, a pee, drink a liter of water, eat fruit with peels, exercise till you drench your t-shirt: you’re gonna vacillate in poundage in any given day. Weighing daily is obsessive-compulsive, and detrimental to your overall emotional health & well-balance. Life is not about the scale. A remark with which I did agree: focusing on the Positives, and trying to avoid eating in a depressive funk–that’s when you end up eating Cheetos, naked, on a beanbag. ;-D {gotta love Blue Collar boy’s comedy} http://youtu.be/ZqHPqTDHxJs

    • J. says:

      As someone who has done a fair few before and after tests, you need to have held it in for a few days for a dump or pee to make any actual yet still tiny difference. Again, I will counter that studies show the successful maintainers are the ones who weigh daily. Of course you are right about daily variation. Same studies show successful maintainers allow for plus or minus five pounds from target. They then go into lockdowb if they pass those thresholds

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