Another Shitty Sunday.

I don’t want to write this post, but I’ve postponed it for hours already, so time to bite the bullet and get it over with.

I’m not gonna write much, because I’m not feeling well.  I’ve been sneezing all day, and my nose is nicely alternating between being fantastically stuffed up and then dripping like a faucet.  Good times.

In addition to not feeling 100% physically, I’m down in the dumps emotionally, too.  And that’s why I don’t want to write this post.  For the second Sunday in a row, I allowed my eating to spiral out of control.

Breakfast was fine: a veggie burger in 1/2 of a whole wheat pita, a banana, a pear, and some yogurt.  Then, around 1pm or so, I tried to rally myself up off the couch to go and exercise.  I failed.

Then, while still on the couch, I decided to figure out what I was gonna do for lunch.  I have plenty of fantastic ingredients for a kick-ass salad, but when I was fast-forwarding through some commercials on the TiVo something caught my eye: an ad for cereal.  I’m not even sure exactly was the commercial was for (Special K something-or-other, I think, I didn’t even stop the fast-forwarding to watch it in real time) but the seed was planted…  and it quickly took root and branched out, and coiled around every part of my brain: I want cereal, and I want it now. My next thought was: the mini-mart across the street has cereal! Next thing I know, I’m at the counter at the mini-mart, pulling money out of my wallet while the guy puts a box of Corn Pops into a bag.  And a canister of Pringles, because they were one aisle over.

Twenty minutes later, and the whole box of Corn Pops are gone. Eaten.  Same with the Pringles.

Two minutes after that, and the remorse sits in.

Ten minutes after that, and I’m face down on my bed, head in my pillow, thinking of the good week I had just had, and how I probably just undid it all.

Right now, I still feel pretty shitty.  I’m trying – really trying – to not be hard on myself.  I know I’m stronger and better than my actions today suggest.  I re-read my blog post from September, when I had my last cereal binge, and after that one, I was able to rebound quickly and get back on track – but I’m not feeling that kind of energy right now.  I’m trying to put together a game plan for tomorrow – one that involves good food and exercise.  I’m trying to focus on what I’ve accomplished.  Trying to remember that everyone has slip-ups, and falling isn’t the important thing, it’s how you get up.  Trying to NOT feel like a failure.  Trying to move on.  Trying…  trying…  just trying.

All this trying is exhausting, and I’m not sure it’s working.

I normally end all my posts with ‘Keep it up, David,’ but I’m not feeling it tonight.

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40 Responses to Another Shitty Sunday.

  1. David,
    It’s just one day. Tomorrow is another one.
    Just remember — NO CEREAL! :-)
    It’s hard. I’m living proof it’s hard. I feed my children super-healthy, but eat on the fly when it’s going in my mouth.

    Tomorrow is a new chapter for me — my Five-Week Sinus Cold From Hell is gone and my kids all return to school after a very long spring break, which means it’s time for me to get back on the horse, too. We can do this!
    Many, many cereal-free hugs from Oregon,
    Cynthia

  2. sharon says:

    you are on the blood sugar rollercoaster. please consider a low carb, grain free diet. it will prevent blood sugar spikes and keep your insulin in check so your appetite will reduce and your energy will skyrocket. and you will lose weight even more efficiently while sparing muscle mass. really.

    • Debbie says:

      Sharon–Maybe David doesn’t really need a lecture right now. In case you couldn’t tell by his posting, he wasn’t happy about what he did. The last thing he needs is someone telling him how to eat. Maybe you should look at some of his sample menus? If you read them, you would know that David actually doesn’t eat a lot of carbs and this was an anomaly. There’s a reason why this is titled “Another Shitty Sunday.” So before you start judging and making him feel worse, you should stop and think about the advice you give to others. Really.

  3. Elizabeth Tudhope says:

    You are tired and down. Go to bed. Tomorrow is a new days. Wake up and start again.

    Everyone has set backs. You started a new job. Your routine is changing.

    You will find your groove. You are stronger and better than letting a box of cereal defeat you.

    Keep it up David!!!

    -E

  4. Tomorrow IS a new day. We all have days like this but it’s the recovery from it that counts. You will have new and better days. Yes, get some rest! and practice compassion and forgiveness. ooxo

  5. anna says:

    Keep it up david! We all fall off the wagon but that doesn’t determine your strength, it’s whether or not you get back on! Don’t be too hard on yourself you’re only human and what you’ve achieved is nothing short of extraordinary.
    Tomorrow is another day, and I’m sure you’ll be back on track in no time!
    All the best, Anna.

  6. Marcy Fabian says:

    Wooo David you had a slip…when your sick people tend to want something different in taste of foods. It’s almost like they grave it.Brain does funny things.After I eat foods I know I shouldn’t have I feel so disappointed with myself and sometimes I just want to cry.Then I say to myself you fool tomorrow is another day.Feel better about it and sleep well knowing tomorrow is going to be a great NEW DAY!!! KeepItUpDavid…U are and will do well.11:14 here in Vancouver late for me!!!

  7. Ashley says:

    Cereal is DANGEROUS to me. I’ll just eat & eat & eat it until it’s gone. Scary! I know that nothing I can say is anything you’re not already thinking, so I won’t say them. But you are strong! Being ill makes everything harder, but I know that if you keep taking care of yourself, keeping eating healthy foods and avoiding cereal and other binge foods, you’ll feel better than ever in no time. I’ll say this for you… Keep it up, David! I’m routing for you :)

  8. Ellen says:

    Hang in there. These things happen. The fact that you were sick probably helped take you off your mental game, and preventing stuff like this when it used to be habit takes a LOT of mental energy. The biggest key is to learn how to balance learning from incidents like this vs. beating yourself up about them. They shouldn’t be ignored, but neither should they be obsessively picked over.

    Always remember that tomorrow is another day, next Sunday is another Sunday. Maybe if you’re feeling better, schedule something to take your mind off all this next Sunday, like a hike. It’ll get better, man. I promise.

  9. jaki says:

    David, don’t let how you’re feeling today influence you tomorrow. You have accomplished SO much to get where you are, and one afternoon cannot diminish that, unless you let it! Tomorrow you will not only feel a little better heath-wise, you will be back on track with your new healthy lifestyle. And if you have any doubts as to whether this is worth it, take a look at your post from a couple of days ago when you posted those fabulous new photo shots! Amazing, and it’s all due to your ability to love yourself enough to make that change. I’m a total stranger, but I’m routing for you every time I read your entries! :-)

  10. Sandra says:

    Dearest David, Please give your self a break to be human. Even if you had ten boxes of high fructose laden cereal with ten tubes of fake potato chips, that does not define who David really is. I can tell you that I ate something this Sunday too after not eating it for over a year. Sometimes emotions get the better of us, especially when we have to be on guard all time to eat healthly and exercise. Food was my go to drug when I am sick, depressed, and alone. You are a great guy who needs to pay attention not only what you put into your mouth but also what you put into your heart. I am learning to like food for all it’s tastes, smells, cultural significance. When I fully accept food into my life, it will stop being the enemy, a drug, a problem. BE gentle…you’re going to make a few mistakes,learn the lesson needed. See if this helps, remember never let yourself get too; hungry, angry, lonely, tired..HALT! Love you Sandy

  11. You’re right, we ALL have these slip ups from time to time on our journey. Having a bad day every now and again doesn’t negate all of the awesome work you’ve done. What’s done is done, so just learn from it and move on. Remember, the only failure is in giving up. Keep it up, David!

  12. Elisha says:

    You are right–it’s how we get back up that counts. You only fail when you stop trying. You’ve come so far already, one little box of cereal can’t undo all of that.

  13. melissa says:

    Hi David! I too did the same thing yesterday.. And friday!!…it started off healthy then it is anything i could get my hands on! and then punishing myself after the fact. today is a fresh start and maybe just this is just going to help the metabolism a little or trick our bodies something like that. the important thing is to continue the next day and everything is going to be fine! i like to think too that the extra food i consumed overall isnt really messing up my diet i mean its not like im gaining.. everything is going to be OK!! xo keep it up David!

  14. sonya says:

    David, i can’t say anything better than all the others have posted to you, tomorrow is another day, take it one day at a time! You have done amazing so far, and are so inspiring to many! One bad day is allowed, especially since you’re sick. We have faith in you that you’ll get through this and keep up with all your great progress ;) keep it up david!!!

  15. Melissa says:

    David – thanks for sharing this post – it means you are HUMAN! We all have slip-ups. If weight loss were easy, we’d all be skinny. The main reason I love your blog is you tell it ALL. Not just the good times. Thank you for being honest!

  16. Karen says:

    Yeah, that sucks… But you know what? WE ALL STILL LOVE YOU ANYWAY!! Eating badly every once in a blue moon doesn’t make YOU bad or unlovable or worthless, even though you might feel like it. Seriously, if you only have that kind of bad eating day once every 6 months, you’re still amazingly inspiring, successful, healthy, and, frankly, lookin’ better than you ever have! So keep it up!

  17. Heidikristen says:

    I “second” everything that Sandy just said. I’ll only add that we’re fortunate that we have thousands of days on this earth and the “bad” days (however you define them for yourself) will, absolutely, be a statistically insignificant portion of the whole… especially as you extend your life with the “good” days! Always be kind to yourself and keep it up!!

  18. William says:

    David,
    I am happy to know that you are human. I have lost 140lbs from surgery and a lot of hard work.
    I lost my job on the 8th and have been eating whatever and gain back 15 lbs. Its a struggle and I will beat it. I never want to see the scale say 409 again.
    My weakness is bread, grains and cereal. I have been broke my rule of one grain a day. All grain is out of my house today until I can get back in control.
    You need to bring the mini mart before and after pics to post so the next time you go you wont purchase the wrong things.

    Keep it up David, you and Richard keep me inspired.

  19. Mandi says:

    David it is ok to have a bad day. Sometimes we just want some comfort food especially when we are sick. Put it in perspective and look at the bigger picture and where you have come from. You are such an inspiration. Even with bad days it makes you human. Losing weight is hard work the bad days make you stop and take notice of what not to do to get to your goal. Beating yourself up serves no purpose at all learn from it and move on. David you can do it :)

  20. elizabeth shelley says:

    Dear David – well, it is finally nice to see a human side of you. You seem to have had over a year of good days, and now you have had 2 bad days! It is nice to see that – no disrespect intended. You have been super-human, in my opinion as it has come to weight control – I know you feel bad -believe me I know – I am obese and have tried over and over to loose weight. Because of you, I have started exercising again – You are an inspiration to me, and I am rooting for you. I think the formula of being “good” for 5 days and “bad” for 2 days is a good one for slow weight loss. I am still loosing at the end of the week and not hitting myself over the head. As long as I excercise 5 days a week – that is what my goal is. Keep it up David! You have no idea how many people support you and are rooting for you!

  21. Jeanne says:

    David…

    Everyone has a weak moment or two. Just brush it off, go back and look at the fantastic progress you’ve made so far on your weight chart and begin anew!

    You can do it, David

  22. Betty says:

    So you were feeling run down and your body was craving energy in the form of salt and sugar. Don’t worry, it is normal and happens to everyone. I get mad cravings for chocolate and have very little stopping will power when I am enjoying it. It’s not all bad, we have great days and off days, it’s part of the journey. This is a lifestyle change not a fad diet, so just continue where you left off healthy eating and exercising.

    Keep it up David :)
    Betty xxx http://www.thebettylife.com

  23. Laura says:

    What is it about Sundays??? Sundays are my worst day of the week too. Some questions for you- what was going on in other parts of your life yesterday? Are you struggling with anything else, like doubt about your new job, or a relationship with a friend, etc? When I am in internal conflict about something, thats when that conflict starts to show up in my eating.

    Remember that you have to create a deficit or excess of 3,500 calories to gain or lose 1 lb. Given that your base metabolic rate is probably at least 2,000 cal/day and your binge probably did not exceed 3,000 calories you have not even gained back 1 lb based on what happened yesterday. Don’t beat yourself up about it- just draw a line under it and move on! Love you!

  24. M says:

    Love you david! ” . . .accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can . . .” you have that courage! KEEP IT UP, DAVID!!! xoxoxo

  25. Lanae says:

    Goodness gracious sakes alive! David you’re human and all of us have bad days. Its now “tomorrow” and I’m thinking you have beat yourself up sufficiently and are on the right track now. You’ve also read all these super comments and know that, as your fan club (so to speak) we’re all with ya and cheering. So go out there have a great day and keep it up David!!

  26. Rebecca says:

    I’m in the same place as you are right now. I’ve been on this journey for a long time and am ready to give up. I’m tired. I’m eating crappy. I’m not losing weight. I’m frustrated. But then I had a thought: what’s the alternative? Quit? Undo all the progress I’ve made in the past year? I don’t think so! Keep your head up! Tomorrow is another day and you will succeed through sheer will! You can do it! :)

  27. That was yesterday…and now it’s a new day. You’ll have opportunities to make solid, healthy decisions all day.

    One day will not/cannot turn back the clock on all of the work you’ve put into becoming a healthier, fitter guy. It just doesn’t work like that.

    All of that said, I hope you feel better sunshine!

  28. Maria says:

    David, only worry if this is a daily issue… If you go and buy 5 cereal boxes and they’re gone by Friday! One day with all you do will not ruin you… You are consistant with your exercise and I know your metabolism is working better than before… The run you go on today will help you through this… remember, sometimes it’s not the weight that counts..cause muscle weighs more than fat!… And honey, your fat days are gone!!!! So lace up those shoes and get going… We believe in you David! Keep it up!

  29. Heidi says:

    Oh, hon. I’m so sorry it was a challenging day.

    But here’s the thing… your food choices yesterday cannot ever undo the weeks and months of exercise and mindful eating you’ve been doing. It can’t even undo one day of that. You did these wonderful things for yourself, and they can never be taken back.

    And yeah, neither can yesterday. But that’s OK. You’re human, and this process is HARD. I’m so appreciative of your honesty.

    But here’s the good thing about life. Today is a brand new day, and every new day is one in which you get to decide whatever you want for yourself, regardless of any of the days before. And I believe in you. I believe you have the power to keep it up, David. And I know that you believe that too.

    PS. I know this isn’t really the right time or place to respond to Sharon above, but I find it’s very acknowledge that different things work for different people. Me, personally? I find that low- or no-carb dieting is unhealthy for my body, but if it’s working for you, Sharon, I would never suggest it’s wrong for you. Nor would I suggest that David’s food plan, which has been working wonderfully for him, is the wrong plan.

  30. caseykay68 says:

    It happens to all of us – its very honest of you to be accountable and put it out there. As so many have said, so what..today is a new day and you keep pushing forward. We could put any number of cliches around it, but at the end of the day you just keep keeping on.

    Thats what I try to remind myself and you know you have a lot of great people on the journey with you and giving you support.

  31. Cheri says:

    Dont beat yourself up David over one box of cereal.. okay yes, you ate the whole box, but ONE day is not going to derail the progress or the life change that you have set in. Sometimes we NEED these little slip ups every once in awhile in order to keep happy and keep moving forward. I think that you need to realize the 99% of the time eating healthy is what the benefit is, and that 1% when you give in is not going to hurt you. Its about also trying to realize WHY you want the cereal and chips and trying to figure out the emotional reponse. How were you feeling emotionally just before you saw that commercial. where you having an off day?

    Cause sometimes when I am feeling “off”, thats exactly what happens, your body goes into looking for things that will make you happy, and unfortunetly it sometimes will turn to food for a quick fix.

    Give yourself a big hug. At least you stopped after the corn pops and chips and didn’t just continue bingeing. You have to be happy about that.

  32. sharron wade says:

    I know how you feel! Once you take a bite of something you should not eat,you go ahead and finish the whole bag as you feel super guilty! Then on the scales next day to see what the damage is!!!! I am very bad about Lay’s Potato chips Reese’s Cups.

  33. Jenny Dahl says:

    Let’s see… you started this odyssey over 400 days ago. You’ve had two shitty Sundays. Okay.

    In other news, the sun rose this morning and it will likely set this evening.

    Keep it up, David!

  34. Nurse Karen says:

    Hi David, I pretty much agree with most comments above. I would add that when you are sick, you need rest, not guilt, & more fluids. When you feel better, cook an entire pot of homemade chicken soup to freeze in serving bowls to pop in the microwave, for days like Sunday–preparation is a key. Being full of a nice warm comforting bowl of soup helps beat the carb cravings. I suspect some emotional issues were being “stuffed’ as well as the illness factor. I miss my Mom’s warm hugs & kisses, of being taken-care-of, when I am sick. Since you are single, you lack normal human emotional support like that, too, so we foodies tend to seek outside fulfillment such as carbs which increase serotonin, the “feel-good” hormone in our brain. If we choose healthier carbs like fruit and oatmeal, flaxseed-oat breads and beans, that is better but when we are ill, as you discovered, the mini-mart gave a quickie fix. If possible, make a list of friends to whom you can call for emotional support and to make you soup, give you hugs and kisses. I realize that may sound silly, but my psych professor in college said we Americans are love-starved. He said it takes TEN hugs a DAY for ‘maintenance” of health, [expressing affection increases our immune system, too] yet how many of us in today’s rush-rush society, even get that? So, my advice would be to journal your feelings, prepare for these sick days, and forgive yourself. There are no good or bad foods, only healthier choices for our body types. It’s all a learning process to figure out what works for ourselves, so we can be strong and healthy and feel happy. Thank you for being so brave and sharing your feelings. It really helps the rest of us not feel so alone, too!!! PS I think whatever you caught is going around, as I felt “puny” all day yesterday, too! Today is chicken soup day, fer shure. Love you!! *Smoochies*!!!

  35. Lynn says:

    AMEN Nurse Karen! You said everything I was thinking. Also, if you are craving carbs, try to eat them before 3 p.m. so your body will burn them and not store them. Any carbs or sugars in your system when you go to bed will be stored as fat. Eating protein after 3 is much better to keep you in a fat burning mode. I hope you are feeling better today, you sure have a lot of people cheering you on.

  36. Tavi says:

    let the words of little orphan annie sing in your ear, “the sun will come out tomorrow.” And thank goodness we live in SoCal, chances are her words will ring true (both literally and figuratively)!

  37. Madhu says:

    Hi david..
    Dont worry! I am sure u will get back on track soon enough.. Dont worry..

    Just had a question.. I didnt know cereal was bad.. please let me know how so.. I;ve been having special K cereal for a while n had no idea..

    Would appreciate it if you could let me know! thanks!

    • David says:

      A lot of cereals, like the Corn Pops I ate, are loaded with sugar. Anything, in moderation, is fine – just don’t eat an entire box at a time, like I did.

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